


I need to know if you feel this too

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, rob is so cute and soft in this, soft fluff, sort of roles reversed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 03:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12761943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: Robert's loved Aaron for ten whole years and decides to confess his feelings, hours before he plans on leaving them all in the past and propose to his girlfriend.





	I need to know if you feel this too

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr prompt, hope you enjoy!

The thing is, Robert's not in this situation because he wants to be.

No.

It just happened and he couldn't stop himself.

And it didn't help that Aaron was the way he was, the broody unfeeling type with heavy shoulders and smouldering looks and the inability to say what he actually thought.

So, here Robert was, finally moving on and preparing to propose to his girlfriend, attempting to forget the fact that he has loved the stupid idiot for the last ten years of his life.

He's presses a hand down on his suit and gulps hard as he sights himself in the mirror. He's a mess of a man really, cheeks flushed and eyes wide and his hair is all over the place.

He should be happy, should be _certain_ that Chrissie is the absolute one. But she's not _him_.

She's not the lad who he was supposed to hate when he was a teenager yet ended up becoming infatuated with.

She's not the boy who punched a bully in the face for teasing Robert about having no mates.

She's not the idiot who stuck around and wouldn't leave and then went and came out as gay and made Robert watch bloke after bloke leave him heartbroken.

Robert hitches a breath and remembers all of them, not one was actually worthy of him and he remembers the nights he spent telling Aaron the exact same thing.

It all fell on deaf eyes though, and then Aaron would do something daft.

He had a real bad habit of doing that.

He'd get wasted, really out of his head, mind numbingly drunk and he'd kiss Robert on the mouth and say things.

He'd say mad things, things Robert used to fucking dream about.

It happened three nights ago.

Some shitface called Alex just so happened to have a boyfriend already and neglected to tell Aaron. So they'd had this massive fight and Aaron had somehow landed on Robert's sofa and cried his eyes out.

"Maybe, maybe I should stop trying." Aaron had slurred, thick black hair curling from sweat and his eyes falling over Robert's. "They're not as amazing as you are they?"

And it made Robert feel like he couldn't breathe, sitting there with low joggers on and no top and a mess on top of his head called hair.

He didn't say anything, almost couldn't and then Aaron was leaning towards him and he was smelling the alcohol on his breath and he knew it wasn't honest.

Nothing was when Aaron was like this.

"Aaron, just sleep it off." He told him, had to as he tried to move off of the sofa. But Aaron grabbed his arm and then placed a hand on Robert's chest and let out a soft sigh and then he was dragging Robert down and looking at him.

"You'd never hurt me." Aaron whispered, looked so sincere as he shook his head and then he was pressing his face against Robert's. "My best mate." He said, and Robert was a coward, a fool, an absolute _mug_ for letting it happen, but he let Aaron kiss him.

And it wasn't like it hadn't happened before, it had happened a total of three times actually, but -

This was different.

Because Aaron was so much more tender, so much more soft and delicate and Robert closed his eyes for a second and just let it be.

Aaron was moving his hands up and down Robert's chest and making him shudder and Robert -

He just let himself almost be wanted and it felt good, until Aaron was pulling away and smiling softly and then laughing about it and Robert felt his heart crumble a little.

"You taste nice." He mumbled out lazily and then frowned because yeah Robert couldn't hide the way he felt like Aaron was mocking what just happened, and then he was holding his hand. "Love you."

And Robert was back to not being able to breathe again. 

Robert reminds himself that what happened was in the past already, it was boxed off and he couldn't touch it.

Because, he is with someone. Chrissie White, gorgeous, talented, what he needs really and he is jumping the gun with the whole proposal thing but it would work out in the long - run and he'd be happy.

Robert hears the door click open and in he walks. He's not expecting him, but Aaron's never cared about formalities and nods at Robert before coming towards the kitchen where he's standing.

Aaron looks at him up and down and smiles. "You got a hot date with fancy pants then?" And that's what Aaron calls her, even though he's fully aware of who she is now. He's met her, well accidentally had, bursted in whilst Robert was in the middle of having sex with her and cut everything short.

Robert doesn't like to think he did it on purpose, because that's hopeless.

Robert adjusts his cufflinks and Aaron sighs.

"Look, if this is about the other night then -"

Robert raises his head, he's been here before too. Aaron denying almost everything, telling Robert that he was blind drunk and not responsible for his actions and treating it all like some massive laugh. It worked when they were nineteen, not now, not when Robert's nearly thirty years old.

"You had no clue what was going on? I could have been anyone? You're not responsible for your -"

Aaron's eyes widen, "Hey, will you chill out?"

Robert huffs out a breath, "No. Not really." He says, isn't even aware of how angry he really is. Aaron steps forward and Robert hates how sorry he's made him feel, because Aaron -

He's the best bloke in the world.

He's got the biggest heart and the best hugs and the softest smile. It's just when it comes to Robert, it's almost like he can't say what he wants, what he _feels_.

Aaron clicks his jaw. "I didn't come here to have a go?" He's saying, "I wanted to clear the air." He's saying and Robert just nods, and then he's asking Aaron to leave and it's clear that Aaron doesn't want to go anywhere yet he does, he turns towards the door and Robert feels something frazzle inside his chest.

"I'm asking Chrissie to marry me Aaron." He blurts out, and Aaron stops dead.

He has his head towards the floor and he doesn't move for a good few minutes before he's raising his head and frowning at Robert.

He looks perplexed, angry almost but the hurt is _there_ , it's punched right across his face and Robert latches onto it.

"What?" Aaron chokes out. " _Her_?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's - she's not _right_ for you." Aaron shrugs his shoulders, and pulls a face. "You must know that."

"So who is?" And he's suddenly brazen about things, he's not the geeky teenager who followed the popular kid around school, the one with mates and the title of captain of the football team. He's older, he's braver and Aaron's almost reversed.

Aaron suddenly looks towards the floor and Robert knows he has to speak now, has to say everything otherwise he'll never get the chance to again.

"Aaron," Robert whispers, has a hand in his pocket and gulps as Aaron meets his eyes. "I - never wanted to tell you this, never thought it would make a damn difference, it probably still won't but -" he shudders and Aaron's eyes are wet. "But I need to try, I need to know if - if you feel the same."

And the air is so heavy.

"I want to know, I - _need_ to know if you feel this too. If - if seeing me makes your heart feel like it's about to _burst_ or something, like - I don't know," he's babbling and Aaron's just staring at him wide eyed. "I'm the only one who properly understands you and -"

Aaron steps even closer towards him and Robert apologises for going on.

"I've been in love with you for so long." He blurts out, "And before I go and really try and forget that then I need to know it's just me, it's just been me for years and years and that you don't mean the things you say when you're drunk and -"

Aaron just doesn't say a word, just like he can't possibly say anything back and Robert waits for a second, and then drifts off, stops speaking, stops _trying_ and he ignores the way Aaron's got tears in his eyes.

He's done all he can.

Robert clears his throat and takes a step back, "I'll - I'll let Chrissie know to meet me at the restaurant."

And then he's wiping at his eyes, feeling this odd feeling course through him because he'd dreamt about this happening, about rejection, but they'd always been this glimmer of relief to not have the feelings all to himself anymore.

He doesn't feel relief now.

He thinks about it all as he heads for the door, and then he's hearing Aaron say something.

"I've always been scared of loving you too much."

And Robert turns his head.

Aaron's standing there, tears streaming down his face and voice shaky. He's holding his hands up and pulling them through his hair.

"Always. Always knew it would land me in trouble, and I'd end up _hurting_ ya. So I tried to stop it but - sometimes I couldn't and it'd pour out." Aaron looks utterly devastated suddenly. "But I wasn't strong enough to let you know what was really going on in here." He points to his head and sighs.

"Tell me." Robert whispers heavily, eyes wide.

"It's too late." Aaron shudders, shakes his head slowly. "You really deserve someone who isn't - isn't like me. Who can just - love you without being terrified of what it might mean."

Robert frowns, bites his lip. "What are you afraid of?"

"It's _you_ , you're - you're everything that everyone else _isn't_. And I'll only let you down, I'll only muck it up and ruin us."

"You wouldn't." Robert says hastily, eyes wide as he comes towards Aaron.

Aaron scoffs, "I would." He whispers, "It's too late anyway."

And Robert, he comes closer and he looks straight at Aaron and he shudders. "It's not too late."

Aaron suddenly looks like there's this ray of hope and his eyes glimmer with something. "Yeah?" He says, like he can't believe it.

Robert nods, blows out a breath. "Just kiss me you stupid idiot." And Aaron does, almost pounces on Robert really and he's actually sober and it's actually light outside and the sun is shining.

It's sweet and soft and then passionate and filled with something Robert only ever imagined.

When they pull away Aaron has a hand over Robert's chest, "Can you ring posh knickers and tell her that you're going to be busy for a few hours." He says, slithers a hand down Robert's chest and makes the older man smile. "And then even more than that, for as long as you'll have me."

"For as long as I want you?" Robert whispers, and Aaron nods like he's a flipping child, eyes gleaming and the heavy insecurities he just blurted out seem to have fucked off for a minute or so.

Forever then, Robert seals the thought with a kiss and everything else is forgotten.


End file.
